gomen...i knoe i've been letting my blog rot lately...this is a long due entry...

i think at some point in everyone's life...there will be a period where we feel that its the worst time of our lives...the only difference, is how we deal with it. i am having my fair share of this miserable, depressed period....starting from a few days b4 i left back to melbourne, up until now. gawd knoes how difficult it is to get thru each day; looking at the things you used to enjoy, but couldn't care less about them anymore. everything serves to hurt you further, tears fall like a tap left open.

reaching back in melbourne, i let out a sigh of relief that its my last semester and that i won't be returning here anymore after this. its a place i chose to run to when i couldn't handle things in kl, but its also a place which makes me feel empty and sad. once again, classes start, another 4 mths worth of stress and frustrations over groupmates, assignments, and lecturers. little was i to know, everything would come so early in the semester...

my trusty little fujitsu couldn't have chose a more 'perfect' timing to die on me. it just went off one night, and i couldn't get it to come on again. it overheated! i was so convinced at that moment that the dear thing would explode on me...so when i tried switching it on again, i imagined a time bomb that would go off unexpectedly. just when i was stuck searching for a client for my campaigns class, i was stranded without laptop. so...my reaction was to call my dad, who seemes to think the fan died coz i 'loaded too many programs'. wow! i didn't know that could happen. trying to remain calm and explain my situation, i got more frustrated as the call proceeded. anyhowz, the results 2 weeks later, a brand new toshiba with the most decent specs at its kinda price.

then comes the groupmates who ruin ur days...which happens to me every semester, i'm not surprised anymore...it was raining one fine day, the kind where even an umbrella wouldn't help, so i had no choice, but to stay in my room, although i was dressed and ready to go to uni! blasted rain..obviously i was out of my mind, when i thought it wud be nice to inform the grpmate that i cudn't make it, to hear an attitude asking me why i'm not there and to get there with an umbrella...hah! and when i enquired a bit more about the groupwork, she sounded hostile. *shivers* this is the grpmate, who couldn't show up for numerous classes due to numerous reasons, the one who asked me for favors...from getting an extra unit guideline, to telling what questions are expected to come out during exams... i couldn't be more disappointed...

in between everything, there were those minor things that helped add salt to injury. i felt that each time i moved forward one step, i got knocked back further. but nothing beats what happened yesterday....i was looking forward to the weekly phone calls from my parents...when dad called. it started off with the normal 'what are you doing' and 'hows things', which was pretty much a weekly routine...then came the time i had to tell him graduation was full so i couldn't graduate until next year... ridiculous! i fully agreed with my dad about it...but then again, i'm a blur girl who didn't know u had to apply for graduation one whole year ahead...-_-" who would..have thought. and then came the question, what am i gonna do after i finish my semester? my trip to japan of course, which i've told him from time to time... and this is where it all starts. dad started asking me why i was so obsessed with everything japanese...where the hell did that come from? he asked me what is wrong wif me...why i'm always watching anime, why i'm so set on going to japan, and that i dress weirdly...I DRESS WEIRDLY?!?!?! what does that have to do with everything? what's wrong with watching anime? as far as i knoe, majority of my friends do that...i'm not going to japan coz i'm blardy obsessed with the japanese...i just like the thought of going shopping...i like the products they have there that we can't get over here...i'd like to try the food...see the sakura... sighz. my dad's words sliced thru...n u knoe what? he says i shouldn't go coz its expensive...when i made it clear from the very beginning, that this would be a trip i'll save up on my own for...which makes it all the more meaningful...but no he thinks i'll be wasting money..even if its my own...that if i could save up for it, it would mean that he's giving me too much cash, so he'll be sending less...

sighz.. too depressed to write anymore...currently uploading pic...for a happier entry the next time round